Mommy Dearest

In my opinion

Motherhood is not only biology & essence.Most mommies nurture most everything around them. They just cant help it.

I love being a mother. I’ve always found joy in the very thought of having my own family. I use to have this reoccurring dream. I would be in the kitchen cooking, flirting with my husband & stop to call my children downstairs to eat. Each name , one by one. My kids would come running down the stairs. Lots of them. And to my surprise, I wouldn't fuss.

I’ll try to explain my next train of thoughts how I feel them. Bare with me .

I’m the type of woman who is always looking to expand personally & professionally. When I don’t see that growth/expansion I begin to question myself & God. I need to be active. Not to be confused with busy. Actively, moving in purpose. I am mission driven. I'm not sure why but it’s a feeling I wrestle with often.

During one of my down moments I really began searching for answers within. At the moment a feeling of hopelessness had come into my heart. I had done so much to develop myself mentally & professionally. I didn't see the growth I expected or desired. I was frustrated. So, I began to search .I asked God , “What am I doing wrong?”

What came to me in the moment is: “You need to focus on your children ”. I was a thrown off. I had been taking Carter , my 3 year old , back & forth to doctors (for 6 months) to be tested for autism & speech therapy. He is with me everyday , all day. Charlee & Cameron have everything they’ve asked for. I was very confused. It felt like all I focused on was my children. We have a support system but it is small. So , I actually complained ALOT.

I didn't understand that I was complaining about the purpose I was searching for. I wasn't delighting myself in my children. Of course there were moments , but more often I was frustrated. I love children. So, it’s hard for me to even admit my frustration. If you've ever met me you know my kids adore me & vice versa. I pride myself on our bond. Unfortunately , I had become so focused on my professional growth that I was not spending the quality time with them that was needed. They felt it. We all felt it. We were with each other for hours everyday but I was working.

Your children are one of the ways you directly affect the world. What you pour into them , they will pour into others. Your children will touch hundreds if not thousands of other people. The skills & values you instill in them will impact the type of spouse, employee & friend they become. They watch & learn from you. How you treat them is way more important than shoes, clothes, devices or accolades. It’s about about raising a healthy, capable , kind , responsible people to be in the world.

Motherhood is by far the most challenging , purposeful & fulling job I've been blessed with. How could I allow myself to forget that? In that moment, everything changed. Balance came in. I gave them credit for raising me. Instilling patience, unconditional love & drive back into me. I'm not a perfect parent but do my very best for my family.

A gentle reminder for Mommies. Save for those tough times. (Especialy the busniess mommpreneurs who are pressed for time):

• It is a beautiful honor to be a Mommy.
• The love you give yourself will be the love you give to your children. Take Care!
• Yell less, explain more.
• Take every opportunity to teach , guide & insert laughter
• Encourage before you criticize
• Be open, understanding & accepting
• Be stern & non-wavering on values , morals & how to treat others

NOTHING HAS GROWN ME MORE THAN MOTHERHOOD!